lessons from the garden {unwelcome guests edition}

original image by travellinggirl2010

Just like every other gardening season that has gone by, I have learned a few more lessons from/in the garden, and this year's theme has been unwelcome guests. Some of these lessons are from my own experiences and others are from friends. I thought that I would share them with you dear readers, so you may avoid future these pains. ;)

1. If you have a wild & witchy garden, it is probably a good idea not to have church ladies who happen to be formal garden aficionados over to visit during the growing season. They will try to exorcise you of the Devil, and exorcise your garden of weeds {read: anything that is not a peony, orchid or rose is fair game!} while you're inside getting drinks for everyone. 
2. Don't invite over self-professed design snobs if your patio furniture textiles happen to not match your tomatoes {luckily this lesson was taught in a friend's garden; if the design snob had come over to my place, they probably would have fainted at the sight of our "patio furniture", which is just camping chairs!}.
3. Light sensors and wielding gardening shears are good deterrents when dealing with drunken assholes who like to "water" your front garden after an evening at the local bar.
4. "Piss-off" plants are a great way to keep neighbourhood kitties from using your garden as a litter box {recommended by a friend}.
5. Earwigs are truly evil incarnate. This year they did a number on some of my young perennial plants and a whole bunch of my annuals. While I was a bit late, I found strategically placed traps {shallow containers with some water and a wee bit of olive oil} kept them under control.
6. Fences are sometimes not enough to keep thieves and peeping toms out of your backyard. Having lots of thorny bushes and nettles where they are likely to hop over the fence will make them think twice next time. 
7. And finally some advice from a friend {for fellow witchy folk}: having signage politely informing people that a witch resides at your place and that if people fuck with your garden, they may very well be blasted into next week. Apparently this has effectively kept the idiots who used to vandalize her garden on their best behaviour.

Have any tips or "unwelcome garden guests" stories? Feel free to share them in the comment section.

Sláinte!

Laurel